I am sitting in the most beautiful pool in the most beautiful hotel located in the most beautiful country I have ever seen, Costa Rica. Every time I visit somewhere new I am reminded of the vast world we live in. Even if I started today and visited a new place every day until the day I died I am not sure I’d see all the world has to offer. This humid air and my anticipation to see Tim come walking down the stairs behind me might be clogging my vision but I cannot possibly see my life any other way than the way it is today. I am here for work. This is my job. This pool that extends out into the bright blue sky, this pina colada in my hand, and this friend by my side. I can’t help but think about everything that has brought me to this day. If I had gone to Southern Oregon University instead of Long Beach State, if I hadn’t changed my major, if I hadn’t met Heather, if I hadn’t met Tim and moved to LA, if I hadn’t met Laura who opened my heart to weddings, if I hadn’t met Stephanie who brought me to Ileana and Carlos by way of The Victorian. If Ileana and Carlos hadn’t met and fallen in love. If Lex hadn’t met Lee on a beach in Costa Rica 3 years ago- I wouldn’t be here. All of this for what? Life’s happenstance? Or life is destiny? I cannot know for sure, but I know that in this moment I feel as though I am in exactly the place I am supposed to be in. What I do is unique, it is artful, it is special. I document moments for people so that their lives don’t pass them by with a blink of their eye. If there is a God, I am certainly blessed.
This brings me to my love. Blessed, I am, indeed. Ever since I arrived all I can think of is him. I do not want one memory without him in it, not one experience that he does not share. I look out onto the view on our patio and think, “I wish you were here.” I will not lie, my heart is human. My heart has questions. It doubts. It hurts. It works to be honest and truthful. It wanders around searching for direction. It forgets. But I am my beloveds and my beloved is mine. No matter what paths our lives take us we are bound by the love we share for each other. When Tim opened that beautiful little ring box on the beach that day in August he asked, “Do you still want to be my teammate for life?” Yes, yes, yes! I gaze at the entrance to this beautiful oasis and cannot let my worries subside until I see him walk through it. I need him here today, I need him there tomorrow, and I will need him everywhere forever.
Norah Jones voices croons over the sound system here and speaks my truth, “I want to walk with you on a cloudy day, in fields where the yellow grass grows high.” Get here soon Timmy. I wish you were here.
A little bit of a taste of Lex and Lee's magical wedding at Villa Caletas.